Keeping Your Child Out Of Gangs
If you fear that your child may be at risk of becoming part of a gang in your community, take action before he becomes immersed in that lifestyle. You may have more power over your child than you think. Your role is particularly necessary if he does not appreciate the risks of being in a gang. The following strategies are especially important to pursue if you live in an area with a high level of gang activity.
1. Talk with your child as early as elementary school about the risks of being in a gang. Make it clear to him that you disapprove of gangs and that they can result in physical injury or a criminal record, or even death.
2. Learn about the gangs in your community, including their style of clothing, their symbols, their particular slang, their activities, and their hangouts.
3. Talk with your child about what to do if he is pressured to join a gang. Role-play some situations and suggest some responses he can use to counter these pressures.
4. Meet with your child's school counselor and ask for help in discouraging your child's gang involvement. Request that your child be placed in classes that do not have gang members in them.
5. Discourage your child from wearing gang-style clothing. Wearing this clothing may not only signal to gang members his interest in joining but may also target him for violence from rival gangs.
6. Get to know your child's friends and what activities he is doing with them. Find out their addresses and telephone numbers.
7. Know the three "Ws": where your child is, who he is with, and what he is doing. Work out an arrangement for him to keep you posted if his plans change.
8. Establish an evening curfew as well as a time when he must be home for dinner.
9. Set some limits on the music your child listens to or the movies he watches. Consider not allowing him to watch very violent movies or to listen to music that glamorizes gangs or violence.
10. Arrange for your child to be involved in activities after school or on weekends, such as scouts, recreational programs, art and music programs, tutoring, Boys & Girls Clubs, and Big Brothers/Big Sisters programs. If community activities are not available, look to your extended family for help in supervising your child.
11. Arrange family activities that you know your child enjoys. Allow him to help choose these activities.
12. If you live in an area with a high level of gang activity, establish some rules for your child such as the following:
- He cannot associate with gang members or attend parties given by gangs.
- He cannot hang out in areas where gangs congregate.
- He cannot engage in any graffiti painting.
- He cannot use hand signs in your presence.
- He cannot write gang names or symbols or other gang graffiti on his personal belongings.
What If My Child Is Already In A Gang? What Can I Do?
While your influence with your child will likely diminish if he joins a gang, you may still retain some leverage with him - and you certainly have the right to control what goes on in your household.
1. Talk with your child about the risks of being in a gang, including physical injury and going to jail. Discuss these issues calmly. Yelling at him or berating him may only alienate him further and intensify his allegiance to the gang.
2. If your police department has an anti-gang unit, talk with a member of this unit to gain information about your child's gang and how you can help get him out of it.
3. Obtain help for your child from a school counselor, a community agency, a member of the anti-gang unit of the police department, or a member of the clergy.
4. Do not allow gang members to congregate in your home.
5. Inform your child that his friends are not welcome in your home if they are wearing gang clothing or carrying drugs or weapons.
6. Notify the police if any gang member threatens you.
7. Ask your child if he wants to leave the gang, and if so, help him take steps to do this.