Your Teenager’s First Date
As a parent, one can’t help but feel overly anxious about the changes that are part and parcel of a teenager’s life. After all, a teenager’s needs and changing life are a little bit more complicated than when they were children. As a teenager’s parent, you will have to contend with setting new rules that now concern curfews, parties, sleep overs, and many more issues including dating.
These issues can bring about a lot of apprehensions, doubts and unnecessary tension between you and your teenage child. Being the parent, you will have to manage these anxieties and minimize or completely eradicate these tensions altogether.
The key to surviving growing pains with raising a teenager is through fostering an open and comfortable relationship with your child. No doubt that this is easier said than done but it is not impossible. For one thing, to be able to properly manage situations with your growing teenager, you will need to make the effort to not allow things to creep up on you. This simply means that you will need to sit down and think about the teenage issues you will need to anticipate and set rules for.
For instance, way in advance, discuss and decide with your spouse about what you two consider to be the appropriate age for your teenager to start dating. While you may never feel at ease and think that your teenager is old enough to date, the time will come when your child may ask permission to do so and it would be best to be able to anticipate this so that you have planned and set up rules way ahead. Planning ahead easily minimizes unnecessary stress that may arise from being caught by surprise.
Planning and setting rules early on will not only help prepare you but also help prepare your teenager to know what he or she should expect. Despite the best laid plans however, things may not always go your way so it is important to be flexible. This means that if your teenager expresses intent to date before the age that you agreed on, you will have to be able to handle the situation with proper diplomacy.
While it is important to set and maintain rules, sometimes you can compromise with your teenager. This will help them understand and see that you are willing to take their feelings and decisions into consideration without giving in to anarchy. A suitable compromise can always be achieved in any situation including setting rules on dating for your teenager.
Planning ahead is ideal but if you find yourself in the situation where you were not able to anticipate that your child will ask you for permission to date, don't panic. Stall for time instead. You can tell your child that you and your spouse will need to naturally discuss and agree on something like this before you can agree.
If that tact is not appropriate with your situation, the important thing to remember is that you should not give an answer right away. Take your time in asking the details about the date like do you know who they are going on a date with, where will they be going and other particulars. This will give you time to digest the situation as well as gather enough information to be able to give an appropriate answer.