Surviving Growing Pains With Your Teenager
Are you beginning to feel and sense the impending approach of your child's passage from childhood to adolescence? Are you beginning to worry, fret and indulge in unnecessary concerns about the changes you will have to deal with as a parent as well as the difficult role of having to set new rules for new issues like dating, curfews and other topics that is part and parcel of being a teenager?
It is quite natural for parents of adolescents to feel this way. However, it is very important for parents to understand that teenagers may be having a difficult time contending with the transition from childhood to adolescence as well. Understanding this will help you as a parent, manage issues and minimize the occurrence of growing pains both for you and for your teenage child.
Keeping calm is the most essential and fundamental thing to remember when dealing with adolescent issues. Never get too emotional or loose your temper. Remember that no matter how hard situations can be for you, imagine how much harder it must be for your child to deal with issues what with hormonal changes and insecurities that come with being a teenager. Since you are the parent and since you have already gone through adolescence yourself, it should be easier for you to deal with situations and guide your child appropriately.
No doubt that it is very important to maintain discipline in your child and if you have done a good job of this from the early stages of your child's life then the transition into adolescent issues shouldn't be that difficult.
It won't be too difficult but that doesn't mean that it won't be without challenges. When your child hits adolescence, he or she will begin to try to assert his or her identity that is separate from yours. This means that he or she will begin to want to make decisions independently and do activities separate from you.
This is not something you should take personally or worry about unnecessarily. It is important for teenagers to start building their identities separate from their parents. Going through this will help them become well adjusted adults and that is why, as a parent, you should be able to support and guide this process accordingly.
Just because your adolescent child begins to make independent decisions doesn't mean that he or she cannot be influenced by you. The best way to influence your teenage child without imposing and making them feel that you are infringing on their space is by being a good example. Teaching by example is the most effective way to get your message across. Disaster happens when you do not practice what you preach.
Teenagers are especially sensitive about inconsistencies in your behavior and your demands on them. If you expect them to behave and uphold certain moral conducts then you should be able to do the same.
Telling your teenage child to do something that you yourself refuse to practice undermines your credibility and makes it hard for your child to trust in your authority. While you may want to exercise complete control and dictate your wishes for your own child's protection, this is not the best course of action and rarely results into anything productive. Adolescence is your child's transition into adulthood and you have to keep this in mind. Treating them like young children will not help.