Sleeping Arrangements: Compromising The Family Bed
There's a lot of talk and opinions over children and their sleeping habits when it comes to family beds. This is when the parents and children sleep together. Every remark has been made from "Oh, what a great idea" to "That's gross." This article covers the pros and cons of a family bed - and the compromise that can come from both sides of this debate.
Families That Support The “Family Bed”
People who like the idea of sleeping with their kids all agree that it's a great time to bond and spend time with their children. They love the idea of cuddling. Mothers agree that it's easier for breast feeding, and they're able to have a quicker response to their babies. Some mothers even think that their babies sleep sounder and longer if they can feel their mother close by. Besides, parents have been sleeping with their babies for thousands of years.
Families That Do Not Agree With The “Family Bed”
People who disagree with the idea of sleeping with their kids feel that it's a bad habit to start. It doesn't allow either the children or the parents to sleep well (obviously there are differing opinions here). Kids need to learn independence, and having their own bed is the first step to that independence. It also makes the private time that parents need more difficult to achieve. You also have to be careful not to roll over on a baby or small child, or have big pillows and comforters that would smother them.
Then there's always the time when you have to finally end the family bed - or do you have four teenage boys sleeping with you? It's hard to stop something once you've started it. How do you tell your children that now they can no longer sleep with you - and not have them feel rejected?
Compromising Both Ends Of The Debate
Like most situations in parenting, there's always room for compromise. The family bed situation doesn't necessarily have to have a strict set of rules that you either follow or you don't. Here are some things to think about:
1. Most women who breastfeed won't have to get up several times in the middle of the night to feed a newborn who is already in their bed. Keeping a baby nearby is handier and quicker for everyone.
2. As your baby starts to sleep more, put him in a bassinet next to the bed so that you can easily grab him without having to go anywhere far. Lay him in bed next to you, nurse, and then put him back in his bed when he's finished. If you doze off and he ends up staying for a few hours, that's fine. He'll eventually spend most of his time in his own bed. You'll sleep more soundly.
3. You can always welcome your older kids into your bed for those times when they don't feel well and are having a hard time falling asleep. Let them fall asleep next to you, but then take them to their beds. This strategy is especially helpful for kids who share rooms. If they can't sleep, they may wake the others up.
4. You can also bring children to bed with you in the morning when they happen to wake up a little too early and you're hoping to con them into just a few more minutes of sleep. Sometimes this will work and sometimes you may all lie in bed and giggle.